A Balm in Gilead

My earlier post may have lead one to believe that there was no sorrow left in my soul, no wounds left to heal. Let me be clear, I still get sad. I still feel vulnerable. I still struggle to overcome doubt and trust the Lord for all, but I know what it is when that feeling settles. I know the devil is trying to bring me down. To use my wounds to make me doubt.

I repeat in my head, "give the devil no foothold," when the doubt begins. I try to remind myself that thanksgiving is the best and most consistent way to chase away negative emotions.

Today is one such day. I feel like hiding, because I feel how close my heart is to the surface...how open it is. I am not comfortable with this. I long for a sense of safety. This does not feel safe. "You've been too open," I tell myself, "now, you're going to get hurt."

I am taking a stand against that though! I will rejoice, regardless of my mood. I will praise God that he has put people in my life, that I have had the opportunity to open myself up to. I will live, with my heart open. I will risk, so that I may love.

I know God will provide the strength that I need.